"Nah, Imma Stay"

I'm not exactly new to yoga. I've gone to a handful of classes and know some stuff. At least enough to know what downward dog is and know that you breathe a lot. Yet there are so many moments in these classes where I'm thinking, "What? I'm suppose to do...what? What does that mean? Are you insane? Maybe I'll just sit. What do you call that? There's some name for just sitting here so it sounds like I'm still doing yoga when I'm actually just sitting because that thing you're doing looks incredibly dangerous..."

To be fair, I'm usually also thinking, "This is relaxing, and how cool that I'm improving since the last time I came. What did she just say to do? Warrior two? I know what that is! I remember that. Man, I'm learning so much about yoga and myself. And I'm doing it with intention. I don't know what my exact intention is, but I like the idea that I'm working out with purpose."

The more types of exercise I do, the more I realize there's usually a whole extensive theory behind them. Yes, I know I'm a bit behind here, but at least I'm joining the party.

I used to think yoga was just a lot of breathing and meditating and then somehow doing a handstand. As if I could put my hands on the ground, lower my head, and ease my knees on my elbows by simply exhaling and visualizing it. Some more practiced yogis might say this is exactly what you're supposed to do. All that happens for me is I get dizzy, my shoulders get sore, and I fall over. I know, I know, practice, don't compare myself to others, and when my body is ready - it'll tell me.

Yoga also has its own language. Even after attending beginner classes, I didn't know it all but was bored so I moved to the "All Levels" classes. Those are definitely better, but they act as though all their know how is all general knowledge. 

I was at a class in Boston and feeling pretty good about my ability to keep up when the teacher had us get into downward dog then ease forward into a push up position. Easy enough. Everyone knows what a push up is. Then she says, "Now float back into a three legged dog and hold."

...Float to what? I definitely can't float any which way from where I am right now. I'm keeping up, sweetie, but I'm not a cloud. I shan't float.

So I look up and suddenly feel like I'm being attacked by people's feet. The 20 people in front of me have lifted their right leg and leaned into downward dog again with their foot in the air. I'm nearly knocked out by the 6 foot tall man on the mat in front of me (who is also phenomenally more flexible than I am...) before I snap to it and awkwardly shove back into a similar position. Float, my ass.

Then there's the blessed moment where we can work on inversions. I take this time to get into Mountain. That's basically just standing still. I know there is a lot of good that can come from Mountain and it's an important pose and all that, but really I use it because I can't do any inversions. FYI, inversions are upside-down things. I can do no upside-down things. So stand I shall. With intention.

At the end you nap. There's a word for it. But really, you're napping. What is cool is that at the beginning of the class I couldn't lay still for 10 minutes if you paid me, but by the end I'm quite tired and shockingly sweaty from my bending and leaning so I can shavasana all you want.

So even though I think yoga is a little crazy, those people are incredibly strong and graceful and impressive. They're in tune with their bodies and their minds and even though my brain is racing along as I balance in half-moon, it's at least a quiet race... and it's usually winning.

I'll buy all the hype and I'll work on my breathing and I'll listen to my body. You win.

Namaste.