"I Was Thinking Of Gaining Skills"

Job searching is a full time job. Except you're not being paid. And you're working from home. And eating a can of frosting. Which isn't actually that great because you're alone and bored and now getting fat. So you go to a gym that you can't afford because you're unemployed. So you try to look for more jobs but they want you to be fluent in Swahili and have 7-40 years of experience in horticulture for a job in an office. Where you'll make minimum wage. And constantly be hot or freezing based on the fight over the thermostat. But at least it's a job, right? Or not maybe. Maybe job searching is better, I mean, it IS a full time job... though the whole money thing is a bummer. Or lack there of. 

And did I mention you're living at home for this whole process? With your parents. And you love your parents. And their home. Your room is bigger than your entire previous apartment, except now making your bed seems impossible and doing dishes is physically painful. I know you could do it all before but your mom wasn't in your apartment and she is here, so maybe she could just do it. Though that's not fair, and you know that. So you half-heartedly do the dishes and wish you'd get a prize. But you don't. So you reward yourself with 5 hours straight of Netflix's finest. Yet the whole time you're thinking, "I should really be job searching."

Searching for what though? Really, that's the question. Because you're on the website and you're looking at the search bar, but what goes IN the search bar? Marketing? Finance? Medicine? Law? Therapy? Shit... You're going to have to go to school for all of that. Even hospitality - another degree you don't have. You don't want to go back to school. Well, you could, but again, for what? 

There's no plan or secret passion. You had a passion once or thought you did but then turns out it kind of sucked and wasn't any fun so you aren't doing that anymore. You just want to go to a place that doesn't suck the life out of you and work with some cool, interesting, and, if you're really lucky, funny people. Maybe they have work events and you can talk to people in meetings and do something positive for the world and make enough to pay your rent and also stay a member of your overpriced gym and get an occasional drink after hours.

Oh, and also, you'd like to move out of your parents house and live near your job. Which people kept telling you to do but you didn't and commuted 3 hours a day, which as promised, was the worst.

What you're asking and working for isn't that insane and shouldn't be so hard. But then you feel bad because even what you have now is such a luxury. How many people can actually just be unemployed and live at home rent free? Not a lot. So shut up and keep job searching. You should feel blessed to have your own computer. Don't be such a middle class jack-ass.


So after all that you think, I can do this. I'm smart. I have a degree. I have some experience. I can get some references. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. 

You pick up the spoon, have another bite of frosting, and start again.