"You Just Pick a Human"

If you're over the age of seven (or seventeen), you will understand this post. Well, if I'm a good enough writer and you actually make it to the end you will.

Have you tried making a new friend lately? I mean a NEW friend, like you didn't know they existed in this world and then you meet them at work or at a bar or at a yoga class and you're like "Oh my God, we need to be friends." 

And not because you think they'd be fun to party with or because you both have an older brother or because you're both new to the city, but because you feel like you get them and they get you. You want to be friends because you're pretty sure if you texted them about that cupcake you just ate, they'd react appropriately, whether that's by congratulating you or yelling at you really depends on the kind of person you are.

Plus you can tell you'll both laugh at the same videos of people falling down on YouTube and know when to talk and when to be quiet when watching the game. They want to stay in the same amount of time you do but also know when you both have to get off the fucking couch.

They're like soulmates in a completely non-romantic way.

Anyway, all this mushiness aside, even if you've found one of these people... how do you become friends? Really. I'm asking.



Because post-college, people have a lot of friends. They have friends from home and friends from school and friends from work. They possibly even hang out with their family and also have a significant other, so how exactly does one weasel their way in without coming off like and overexcited, lonely weirdo?

I'm a firm believer that everyone can benefit from new friends, they just don't want to work at it. Which is fair. Relationships can be hard... but also awesome.

And let's remember I'm keeping romance out of the equation so if you're straight and want to be just friends with someone of the opposite sex, firstly I only sort of believe you, and secondly, good luck.
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Somehow our society makes it hard to make new friends, and I'm hoping when I post this it turns out I'm not alone in this line of thinking. It's hard not to come off too strong but if you act like you don't care, they'll assume you don't care.

Don't even get me started on what to do if you want to be MORE than friends with someone because that's a whole can of worms I'm even further from understanding. By which I mean I have literally no idea how that process is supposed to work.

I guess the ultimate goal here, whether you're trying to make friends or date someone, you have to let them know that's what's happening. Because as amazing as this person is that you've found, they're probably not mind readers, so you'll have to help them out. And while saying, "I like you" is utterly terrifying and I'd rather just not say anything... except for then I don't have new friends or a date and that's not quite ideal.

SO... I guess I'll face my fears like Chandler there (who, spoiler alert, DOES ask out the girl and doesn't die), and actually try to make some friends even though there doesn't seem to be any kind of rule book for this, so I'll just have to wing it.

Wish me luck.